I have told you all before that laundry is my least favorite chore. Well, of course, after a two week run on the ole Campaign Trail, there is plenty of laundry that needs to get done…

Now my laundry equipment is not the newest. It’s probably about 3 years old. I have no problems with it, it works fine. I just don’t understand exactly how it’s supposed to all work apparently. I have figured out enough about it to get the laundry clean and dry. But I think I am ready to move on to the next level. I want to understand every setting and know how to do laundry like a pro…

The first setting I want to understand is a dryer setting. It is the part of the dial that says “More Dry” & “Less Dry”.

As a rule I prefer my clothes to be completely dry when they are done in the dryer. It is, after all, called a “dryer”. If ‘drying’ is not what it does, shouldn’t it be called a ‘warmer’ or an ‘almost dryer’. I have spent the better part of the day trying to think of a circumstance when it would be OK for my boxers to still be a little damp. For the life of me, I can’t come up with one.

Perhaps my problem is within the terminology itself. Once something is Dry, how could it then become MORE dry? And if it is Less Dry wouldn’t that still be wet? At the point of Dry, for something to become More dry would cause it to start getting “a Little Burnt” wouldn’t it? Or at least ‘Over Dry’? Are clothes not the same as meatloaf? I have had meatloaf that I would consider ‘More Dry’ and I have had meatloaf that I would consider ‘a little burnt’. But I am relatively sure that I shouldn’t be comparing meatloaf to my socks and undies. If that were the case, I probably need to find a new meatloaf recipe, right?

And to top this all off, the portion on the dial where the More Dry/ Less Dry choice needs to be made is labeled “Auto Dry”. Now if it’s Automatic, why do I need to make any choice at all? Shouldn’t the dryer decide on its own if it is truly automatic? But does automatic mean something else entirely? Am I missing something? Maybe Automatic means I don’t have to ever shift which is a good thing because I have no clue what the shift pattern for a Maytag is. Or even how many gears it has…

Here’s what I do know… I like my clothes to be dry. Wet clothes are not appealing to me at all. I have been using the More Dry selection and have yet to burn up anything or set the building on fire, so the dryer must be smart enough to stop before the clothes reach the combustible stage. They don’t even come out smelling singed at all. So ‘More Dry’ seems to be working. Maybe one day I will attempt a small load on ‘Less Dry” and see what happens…

So for now, in my head, I will continue to substitute the word ‘Dry” for the words ‘More Dry’ and ‘Wet’ for the words ‘Less Dry’ whenever I am using the dryer. One of these days, once I’m a Pro, I’ll look back on my dryer ineptitude and laugh…

The Campaign is going along well. It has been brought to my attention though that we need a slogan. A catchy slogan has won many a campaign, and, due to the limited funding of this campaign, it will be even more important to get the word out. So please forward all Slogan suggestions to City Hall or in the Comment Section.Blog Daily Life Humor Blogging