I mentioned yesterday that this week was ‘Big Band’ week in ZwebbyVille. I thought it would be fun to tell you the reasons I like this type of music;

I made the decision to learn to play an instrument in 6^th grade. I remember one day they handed me a case that was almost as big as I was and told me this would be my instrument. Inside was a shiny nickel-plated Crown Trombone. I still have that trombone in storage and I keep threatening to take it out some day and play.

By the time I was a Freshman though, my class had produced an inordinate amount of Trombonist and since I was such an awesome trombone player… they made me switch to Tuba. Yes, I was a Tuba player…

One day my freshman year, our band teacher handed out sheet music to a new song. Coincidentally, it just happens to be the song playing right now; Pennsylvania 6-5000. (Mr. Miller was an ex-marine who was so skinny he could have hidden behind my trombone but he had this way of looking at you that made your knees tremble and your belly to pretend it was doing an Olympic Gold winning performance on that horse thing. He and I had our share of problems at first but once I realized that just because the slide of your trombone could be removed and make a perfect spit-ball launcher didn’t make it ok to do it… we were good.) As soon as the music started, my foot took on a mind of its own and started tappin’. I got to where I looked forward to playing Big Band stuff and I can now say I’m glad Mr. Miller was so hooked on it himself.

Before I tell you the other reason I love this music though, I want to ask you a question; If you could go back and live in any era… what would you choose?

I would choose the late 1940’s, just after the war. Patriotism was at its highest peak ever; There was a mood so positive you couldn’t help get caught up in it; There was hope for a glorious future. And you weren’t worried about Political Correctness!

Sometimes today we become so mired down trying not to offend anyone that we make fools of ourselves. Everyone is so quick to take offense and make claims of discrimination or harassment that we have coined these stupid terms just to try to appease everyone. For example; The boys are not allowed to sit ‘Indian Style’ in school anymore… they must sit ‘Criss Cross Applesauce’

Ok First of all… were any Indians really offended because our kids would sit like the pictures of every campfire full of Indians we ever saw of the Old West? Was there some Indian who was just going along one day and snapped because one too many kids had said this?

Oh… wait a minute… I can’t say Indian either, can I? There is something negative about that too. I have to say Native American. Which is not to be confused with African American, Asian American or even Caucasian American.

Whatever happened to American? When did it ever need an adjective?

I long for an era like the 40’s. Not because I think it was problem-free but because the problems were genuine problems of daily life… not ones made by the Media or by men trying to gain attention for themselves. If it is necessary to categorize us Americans, then lets do it a different way. Let’s do it by job title or personality. You know… shake up the whole applecart and start the game over again.

This entry started out categorized as ‘Insight’ but now I think I will change it to my Campaign ’08 category because as President I want to try very hard to make us all realize there are no groups of Americans… there are only Americans.

Of course now I have probably upset the Applesauce Americans. We Tuba Americans are like that sometimes…

***NOTICE***

The ZwebbyVille Town Council asks for your help in stopping an injustice!

It has come to our attention that Alison and King Tom are in competition this week with another blogger for Best of MSN Spaces. This unnamed Obese Operator of Two Wheeled Conveyences has rigged the election by offering Gifts in exchange for votes! These gifts are not even real gifts but Yard Sale Items that he was getting rid of anyway. Unfortunately, it appears as if his offer has worked so far. With your help we can let some air out of his tires though! Click below and vote for your favorite, clear your cookies, then repeat often. Let's level out the playing field here! If I really thought you all wanted some of my Yard Sale Items, I would offer them but I do not need to get involved in an Election Scandal... Heed the call ZVillians!!

Click Here to vote

I am hitting the road at about 3 AM to head to meetings at our Corporate Office. I will spend the driving time thinking about my Presidential Platform. It has proven harder to put together than I thought. The cool part for you though should be the fact that, unlike some Presidents, I’m actually thinking about it…

One promise I will make right now though is, you will never hear things like I’ve collected here come out of my mouth, or Gilbert’s;

(don't think I am singling out any certain Party either, I'm sure there are as many GWB quotes too. And Gilbert's scared of guns...)

Bill Clinton

• "We can’t be so fixed on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans."
• "The last time I checked, the Constitution said, ´of the people, by the people and for the people.´ That's what the Declaration of Independence says." (It’s actually not found until the Gettysburg Address)
• "It has not worked. No one can say it has worked, so I decided we’re either going to do what we said we’re going to do with the U.N., or we’re going to do something else." (Sort of like when the weatherman say there is a 50/50 chance of rain… it will or it won’t)
• "I am curbing the influence of money in our political system" (did you tell your wife?)
• As a candidate in 1992, Bill Clinton blasted Bush administration standards of behavior and pledged to conduct "the most ethical administration in the history of the Republic." (I can only laugh)
• "Character doesn´t matter."
• "I have a brother who´s a drug adddict, I´m very proud of him"
• "Looking Back, I should have inhaled"
• “My proudest achievement as Governor of Arkansas was to move our school system from 50^th in the country to 49^th” (What did you do?? Buy them pencils?)

Al Gore:.

• "A zebra does not change its spots"
• When asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple replied: "I didn’t realize I was in a Buddhist temple."
• Not to mention the whole “I invented the Internet” thing…
• "Who are those guys????" he said while pointing to the busts of George Washington, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, during a tour of the museum at Monticello prior to the 1992 inauguration

Look folks… I don’t proclaim to know it all. And, face it, Gilbert’s an idiot. But he’s an imaginary idiot. So we can give him the benefit of the doubt. But, as Your President, here is what I will do… Every decision will be based on common sense, not politics. I figure the worst that could happen is four years later I’m looking for a new job (but imagine having President on your resume!). Or, maybe, just maybe, my approach will make sense and you and I, as average Americans (or Canadians if I run up there too), will actually have a say in our government again.

I have officially adopted the slogan (thanks to Alison of Gelati Farms) “I know what I know” And I know we can make a difference!

Zman in ’08… Oh… it’ll be so great…

Have you ever looked at a person in authority and said to yourself, “Not only could I do that job, I could do it better!”? Well, after last nights State of the Union Address I have been doing some serious thinking. I have tried hard to stay away from politics in ZwebbyVille. Politics can only lead to dispute and cause hate and discontent. But I can be quiet no longer. This is not a slam on the current Administration. I think I could do a better job than the last four or five.

While my Party affiliation doesn’t matter, I think I could be a pretty darn good President! Since it’s about time to get a campaign started for the 2008 election, I am openly announcing my desire to run for the Presidency. I feel that since I am closer to the American Public’s way of life that any candidate in any Party, I could better represent the average American’s interests. In making this announcement, I thought I should give you the Top Ten reasons I think I could do it:

1. I have prior political experience; I have been Mayor of ZwebbyVille since the town’s inception on December 7, 2005. I am responsible to hold all the Town Council meetings with the Town Council (Gman & Cman). I will not say every meeting has went “by the book” but most of them do as long as the PlayStation is turned off.
2. I was prior military; Not only was I in the military, I actually worked. Unlike some of our Presidents, I know what it’s like to leave your home and your family and go off to war. My idea of military service does not include weekend jaunts to tropical islands so that I can ‘relax’ nor did any of my promotions happen because of ‘Daddy”.
3. I know how to schmooze; I am a Preachers Son. I learned how to schmooze from the Masters. This is an important part of growing up in a preacher’s home since you are not allowed to appear human. Many a time, my mother would be screaming at me at the top of her lungs for some reason (I was such a good child, too) when the phone would ring and she would immediately conjure up the voice that only my mother can that makes you feel like you are the most important thing to her. She still uses that voice when I call and I love it.
4. I love baseball; This is so very important since so many of our Presidents have looked so stupid throwing out the First Pitch on Opening Day. Who wants a guy running their country that throws like a wimp? Also, my mind thinks in terms of baseball strategy, which is very cut and dried. You are out or safe. It was a ball or a strike. There is no room for waffling in baseball.
5. I have been broke before; I know what it’s like to have the collectors call during supper. Since most Americans live paycheck to paycheck, I understand their needs better than a guy whose greatest financial challenge has been to decide whether to invest his Trust Fund in T-Bills or buy out his Daddy’s share of the Family Business.
6. My sons aren’t drunks; There will be no need to worry about Gman and Cman showing up on the front page of the Enquirer since they do not enjoy partying at all. The only scandals they are likely to cause will be when one of’em breaks some little girls heart because they ‘just want to be friends’
7. I love to travel; Very important since I will have to do a lot of it. I will make sure they install Armadillo Awareness Devices on any road I will be traveling on too.
8. I don’t have a ‘Summer Home’; I don’t have two or three homes to live in. So, as long as they let me break my lease on the apartment, the White House would be the only place people had to go to find me. I could get so much more done just because I would always be in the office.
9. I shop at Wal Mart; If any of our last five Presidents can tell me the typical layout for a Wal Mart I will give them my favorite $2 bill and a Grape Slushi. If you don’t know where to turn to get to Electronics, how can you say you know the American People?
10. I have an awesome Vice Presidential Candidate; He may not be bright, but Gilbert O’Sullivan can do the job!

Now, understand this will have to be a grassroots type deal. I’ll need all of you to help support me in this grandiose effort I am partaking. I will give each of you a Cabinet Position or at least a consulting position with the government. It will be fun! We’ll throw some killer parties in the White House! How cool would it be to have the President writing a blog every night? I’ll name it something like “Perusing with the Prez” with a tag line of “For the People, By the People, One OF the People”.

I am completely positive that the job’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I doubt if I’ll want to run the second time. But I think I just may be able to give us all four years of fun. And at least then we’ll have an excuse for nothing getting done in the White House…